I’ll have my own All Points West review coming soon, here is Dave’s take on the wild Saturday we spent with Lady Liberty.

My day with 3 Stacks:

Or:

How I learned to stop worrying and love the babes at the All Points West Festival.

The events leading up to the festival are hazy.  I’d spent the previous night in Long Island drinking Budweiser from a keg in celebration of 8/8/08, which, as we all know, is the realest date since 8/8/88. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep that night, partially because of raucous partying, and partially because I slept on a pull out couch next to a large, hairy Jewish man named Stern. I digress.

I met up with 3 Stacks at a little train station adorably named ‘Grand Central’. I’d never heard of it before, but apparently it’s a popular spot.  We hugged for a good 5 minutes before making our way to Pier 11 in style via the New York City Taxi service. Needless to say, heads were turned when we pulled up to the ferry stop.

Next I bartered with a scalper for a ticket.  I don’t want to toot my own horn when it comes to haggling, but *toot toot*.  (Recommended method, after the scalper gives his price, scoff at him and walk away. He’ll be putty in your hands.)

We then boarded the ferry and embarked across the majestic Hudson towards a strange new land known as New Jersey.  The boat was full of babes. It was awesome.

OK, Aright! Enough, Dave! Get on with it! Tell us about the festival.

I hear you complaining, but this is my guest blog, dammit, I’ll talk about the ferry ride the entire time if I want to.

But I don’t want to, so on to the festival.

The Real:

The babes.  They could have easily called this the All Babes West festival.  3 stacks and I enjoyed eyeful upon eyeful of beautiful babes as we wandered through liberty park.  We were like kids in a candy store. A candy store filled with babes! But no matter how many babes we saw, one babe shown above all, and that babe is Lady Liberty, (we had a sweet view of her backside from the park).

The Weather.  We couldn’t have asked for a better day for kickin back to some jams in Liberty Park.  The weather also made it possible for the babes to wear clothes that made me say ‘Oooooweee’.

Free Cigarettes! I know what you’re thinking: ‘Dave, You don’t smoke cigarettes!’ Well I’m not here to argue semantics, all I know is that there was a smokers lounge, where the guy gave out 2 packs of American Spirit cigarettes free of charge.  That’s like a 20 dollar value in New York! Booya!

The view.  Holy moly what a view!  The New York City skyline looked beautiful from across the river, and the cloudless sky helped highlight this.

Hand-dipped Jalapeno corn dogs.  Nuff said.

The Music:

I should probably dedicate another guest blog to the music alone, but I figure I’ll just make this one longer. In for a penny, in for a pound, I always say.  I’ll try to keep this brief. We didn’t get to see all the bands, obviously, and there are a few I’m sad to have missed.

Chromeo – fun with techno… it was a bit early in the day for pulsing beats, though. I was still pleasantly surprised.

The Felice Brothers – Jug band rock? Yeah they had a guy who played the washboard.  There was also a fiddle and an accordion thrown in there for good measure.  It was a fun performance and they looked like they were having a blast.  They weren’t attracting too many babes so we moved along after a few tracks.

Speaking of babes, Metric has a babe of a lead singer. She was wearing a crazy shiny gold jump suit.   The music was fun, but we only stayed for a few tracks.

K’NAAN.  Damn.  This was wild.  The guy is a gifted hip hop artist who likes to drop the beat out completely while on stage so that the audience is forced to pay attention to the lyrics.  He was also pretty charismatic when addressing the crowd.  A solid performance. 3 stacks and I rested our bones, kicked back and enjoyed a good sit for most of this.

Animal Collective.  This was the first I’d heard of this band.  3stacks warned me you either love them or hate them, so I had no idea what to expect.  They attack your senses.  I don’t know if I loved them or hated them, but God damn it do I respect them.

The Roots.  This is the 3^rd time I’ve seen them live, and they never disappoint. These dudes know how to rock a crowd.  They didn’t play much new stuff, which I didn’t mind.  Highlights included a 20 minute version of ‘You Got Me’ and a cover of “Immigrant Song”.  The whole performance was great.

We then followed the crowds to the biggest performance of the night.  Some band called ‘Radiohead’.  I’d never heard of them before but I didn’t much care for them. They were horrible.  They’ll never become successful.

Psyche.

RADIOHEAD! Their light show alone used up all my boners for the next two weeks.  Thom Yorke is surprisingly engaging and had the crowd laughing at several occasions.  Highlights (for me at least) included ‘The Bends” “Everything in its Right Place” “Kid A”  and “No Surprises”.  They did a lot from their new album.  It was pretty sweet. Definitely an amazing performance.  The babes were out in full force for this one.

Ok, that’s the good stuff. Now onto the bad.

The Lame:

Walking.  We had to walk what felt like miles after getting off the ferry.  All that walking led to a deep burn in my glutes.

The great beer dilemma.  Here’s my main gripe. They had a 5 beer limit per person!  7 dollar beers? I have no problem with that, but how am I supposed to get good and sauced on only 5 beers?!! (Answer: Eat only 1 Jalapeno corn dog the entire day.)

This five dollar limit also limited the number of intoxicated babes, killing a good amount of my game. Way to stick your sweaty balls in my face, APW.

On top of the 5 beer limit, they had designated fenced in sections for drinking.  This means MOBS of people had to funnel in through a small opening and wait in line for beer, and they only give you a 2 beer at a time limit!  And you have to finish the beers before leaving the fenced in area! Waiting in line and having to stay in this fenced in hell cut down on the time we had to see bands, which is totally lame.

For the price we were paying, we should be able to get as sauced as we want!  This IS Liberty Park!  Lady liberty would be ashamed if she knew what was going on behind her back!

However, despite the lack of alcohol-induced intoxication, the show was a good time, and I got to spend a solid afternoon with my friend.  We shared some laughs, heard some tunes, and scoped some babes, and we looked fly doing so.  It was awesome.