EXCLUSIVE!!! FIRST CHAPTER OF THAT DOUBLE X NOVEL!! haHA!!
YOU KNOW HOW WE DO Y’ALL. EXCLUSIVE!!! FIRST CHAPTER OF THAT STREET HEAT, DAVE BISSON AKA DOUBLE XX AKA DAVID PASTRAMI ON RYE AKA LA SABIA AGUILA BRINGING YOU HIS FIRST NOVEL. READ IT IN THE BATHROOM!! READ IT ON THE SUBWAY!!! READ IT ON THE CORNER!! SHIT IS FIRE BWAHHHH BWAHHH!!!
Dave The Dino Slayer
Chapter One:
Dave, the dinosaur slayer, was finishing up an awesome round of sex with a totally hot cavewoman babe when a familiar growl caught his attention from outside his pimp cave.
”ACROCANTHOSAUR” Dave said, “we meet again.”
Dave got up from his rotating bed and made his way towards the door.
“You’re so brave” the cave babe said to him as he was leaving, reminding him that she was still there.
“All in a days work, babe,” Dave said back. “Make me a pie for my return, and make sure you’re gone by the time I get back.” And with that, Dave grabbed his trusty spear Xavier and headed to battle.
‘Anything for you, you sexy dinosaur slayer. I love you.’ the cave babe thought, as she set to work making a pie.
The sun was high in the sky as Dave exited his cave. ‘Quiet,’ he thought. ‘Too quiet.’
Cautiously he stepped into a clearing, making sure to stay downwind. His grip tightens around Xavier. He holds the spear to his chiseled chest.
“Another adventure, old friend,” he said to the weapon. “Indeed,” Xavier responded.
SNAP. Dave narrowly evaded the clamping jaws of the mighty lizard, whose sneak attack would have surely taken Dave’s head off. He leapt out of the way with an awesome flip onto the top of a boulder. Now he was face to face with the beast. The two locked eyes, both fully aware of the awesome battle about to go down.
SNAP. Again the beast lunged at our handsome hero, but this time Dave was ready for it. Another awesome flip over the head of the Acrocanthosaurus landed Dave on the creature’s spiny back.
The creature ROARED WITH DISAPPROVAL.
Back and fourth the beast swung its neck, trying to shake our hero off, but Dave’s vice grip would not pander.
‘Good thing I was a bull rider at the rodeo’ Dave thought to himself, recalling a different time in his life. ‘Beth wouldn’t approve of this’.
Dave let his thoughts get away from the task at hand, and with a violent whip of its head the beast shook our hero free. Dave fell to the ground with a hard thud.
‘Idiot’ he thought to himself. ‘Can’t keep dwelling on the past-future, have to fight dinosaurs’
BOOM. A Giant dinosaur foot came crashing down at Dave, which our hero narrowly avoided by rolling to the side. It was at this point Dave realized he no longer was holding Xavier.
Frantically he scrambled to find his friend/trusted weapon. The dinosaur was now right on Dave’s heels, snapping violently, trying to get a bite of Dave’s muscular legs.
“Over here!” yelled Xavier, who was on the ground next to a tree. “Quickly!”.
Dave quickly somersaulted over to his friend. The dinosaur was now almost directly on top of the brave, multi-talented Dave. With not a second to spare Dave spun around and jabbed Xavier directly into the eye of the horrid beast.
The dinosaur reeled back in pain and let out an agonizing roar before falling to the ground, dead. Dave let out a relieved breath as he got to his feet.
He walked to the fallen Acrocanthosaurus slowly, surveying the creature from head to toe.
‘Pity’ Dave thought ‘In another life, we may even have been friends’. He pulled Xavier from the skull, leaving the blood on.
“Drink up, Xavier. You deserve it”
Our hero turned back towards his cave, exhausted from battle. ‘Time to relax’ he thought to himself.
A different ROAR cried out behind him. An angry roar.
‘Damn’ Dave thought. ‘Now my pie is going to get cold.’
TO BE CONTINUED………
