Dan wants some help ladies, if you are interested, head over here. Seriously, check this out.

I would like to have a smaller Dan…and you could help
Here are just a few reasons why you should entrust me with the raising of your child:

-I’ve got “good” genes
-Children love me
-I’m smart as a whip
-I have the jaw line of a chiseled Greek statue and soft mahogany eyes that could calm a rabid bear
-In fourth grade I ran the mile in 7:39, no training, our kid will be doing plyos by 5…think of the possibilities
-I’m “healthy”
-I have big plans
-Once the baby is born you don’t even have to come around anymore, I’ll take it from there
-With no job, I need something to do, or at least someone to hang around with
-Smaller Dan and I will both uncover the mystery of how to afford food and shelter together, our first bonding experience
-Took a class on child rearing once
-You may pick its religion
-I need someone sticking up for me when the neighborhood kids come at me
-I need someone to cheer me up when the bloggers are hating on me

-I need someone to have my back when those beer balls start acting up

-I need another set of eyes on that road when I’ve had a bit too much to drink

-Me and this kid will make you proud

-I might legitimately be sterile, so if you’re at all apprehensive, don’t worry, chances are this could all be for naught

-Sure hope it’s not a girl. I’ll be lost raising that thing

Umm I guess let me know if you’re in?