I am the entertainer,
And I know just where I stand:
Another serenader,
And another long-haired band.
Today I am your champion.
I may have won your hearts.
But I know the game,
You will forget my name,
And I won’t be here
In another year,
If I don’t stay on the charts.

That’s Billy Joel’s classic, “The Entertainer.”  Dave Bisson knows a thing or two about entertaining.  Maine’s golden boy, he has explored the Southern part of Connecticut for most of this millenia, tossing out hit after hit to his adoring fans, who knew him as Double X.  Now hes The Ultimate, and he is taking his multi-faceted mojo to both Hollywood and Nashville.  Or wherever music lives.  How about St. Louis or something, he can battle rap Nelly.  Open your minds to Dave Bisson, a champion of that ol’ boom bap, evil grey gorillas, many a handle of spirits, and hair with tons of flair.

LLL:  What is it like working in the movie business?

DB:  The biz as I like to call it.  It can be hectic, but I’m a big fan of hectic, plus it keeps me trim, long days and moving around a good amount.  It’s like a good workout plan.

LLL:  I’ve seen you live in concert, and you seem pretty fit.  Do you think you will ever get back up on the stage?

DB:  I would like to that’s for sure.  Nothing like the rush you get from performing live.  This is a great opportunity for me to plug my rap music.  www.soundclick.com/theultimate.  You’re welcome America.

LLL:  And America thanks you.  Do you consider yourself more of a lyricist, or a producer?

DB:  I like to think of myself as a renaissance man when it comes to the music.  I try to dabble in every part possible, but I’m not afraid to rap over others beats, you know?  As long as it’s fire.

LLL:  Could you ever see yourself producing for other rappers, or do you like to produce beats specifically for your style of flow?  And how would you describe that flow?

DB:  I would absolutely produce for other rappers.  I’d love to hear that. I once worked as a summer camp counselor and one of the kids I watched had a dad who was a ‘rapper’ from Maine.  I slipped a demo in her backpack.  Needless to say i never heard back from him and I was asked to leave the camp.  And I’d describe my flow as experimental.  I try to dabble with different styles per song.  As is obvious on my website, www.soundclick.com/theultimate.  Shameless.

LLL:  What rappers did you grow up with, and who in the game today has your attention?

DB:  My first rap CD was the Space Jam soundtrack.  The song ‘Hit ‘Em High’ killed it.

LLL:  Yea, the Monstars

DB:  After that I moved onto Ready to Die by Biggie… kind of a big step.  Nowadays I listen to a variety of styles of rap, I’m a big Mos Def fan, Ghostface, obviously, but I listen to every style of music, not just rap. I like to keep things fresh.

LLL: Let’s talk about the biz, what are your goals?  Next DeNiro?

DB:  I’d like to take the world by storm, hit the biz in a big way, become the stuff of tabloid fodder, start a torrid affair with a hot young starlet, adopt some Ethiopians, and fade into obscurity someday.

LLL:  At what point did you say, I need to get in the biz?  Was it the first time you watched Heavyweights?

DB:  Lets just say Heavyweights had a huge impact on me.  But I’ve got to say it was Congo that really did it for me.  I was watching lasers slice through evil grey gorillas, and gorillas jumping into lava, and I was like, “This shit is magic, I need to do this.”  That’s my goal right there, someday I want to remake Congo, shot for shot.

LLL:  Congo had that impact on a lot of people.  It is desperately in need of a remake.  Would you rather steal a go-kart or a hot air balloon?

DB:  I’d like a hot air balloon with a go-kart ready to rip out of it when it lands. Or even before it lands as the balloon explodes into flames.  I think a volcano I’d be escaping from would cause the explosion

LLL:  Great answer, obviously a showbiz mind at work right there.  The music industry is hurting, and the movie industry has some problems as well.  You got any bright ideas to help out the industry?

DB:  Great question (in response to the great answer response).  I mean, rap basically needs to die.  I hate to say it, but most of the “hip hop” on the radio these days is some weak ass buster shit.  People need to stop supporting this, and so the industry has to suffer.  But from the ashes will rise the real hip hop artists who don’t, you know, suck donkey balls.  As for the biz, they just need to listen to some of my script pitches.  That will start a new film renaissance of awesome ideas.

LLL: Any of these ideas you would like to share ?

DB:  I got ideas that are so much better than “Meet the Spartans”.  What a pile of horseshit.

LLL: A knee-jerk reaction satire film that obviously failed.

DB:  ‘Satire’, you can’t even call it that really. It’s a bunch of idiot pop culture references strung on a ‘story’.  How is that a movie?  That’s MADtv.

LLL:   Agreed.  But without MADtv, we wouldn’t have Frank Caliendo, America’s greatest impressionist.

DB:  Don’t get me started on that fuck.  Why can’t he be himself and be funny?

LLL:  Maybe he’s not clever enough to come up with his own ideas, but has to mimic the mannerisms of others.  Actually, no maybe there, that’s exactly what he does.

DB:  Yeah, ok it’s cute when you act like John Madden on football broadcasts, but God Dammit does the world actually need ‘Frank TV?’  I say nay.

LLL:  The jury is out.  When you go out on the town, do you ever woo ladies with freestyles?

DB: I don’t know if I woo them… but I know I wow them.  Usually it takes a few drinks to get me to loosen up to that point though.  Once the snowball gets rolling though, it’s hard to stop the avalanche that follows.

LLL:  What is your favorite liquor when you are out free styling on ladies?  Could you give us a brief freestyle in support of that liquor running for office in 2008?

DB:  Yeah I think I could kick something at you.  Ok ok, let me tell you what is gonna happen/ we’re gonna have to go and give it up for the captain/ we all got a little bit of captain morgan in us/ he’s a strong man like he’s done a million f’ing chinups/ so lets vote for him cuz its time for some action/ captain morgan ‘08/ go and vote for the captain (pirate drunk. yeah.)

LLL:  Fantastic.  The Captain would be glad to have you on his campaign team.  I know you biz types can get pretty busy, so I’ll let you go. One last question, as a multimedia hero, what advice can you give the bloggeratti about how they can help heighten the quality of entertainment in this day and age?

DB:  Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll be amongst the stars.  But don’t shoot the stars.  We need them.

LLL: We do need stars, stars like you Dave.  Thanks for the time, let Hollywood know what’s up.

DB:  Hey, it’s been my pleasure I love the blog. www.soundclick.com/theultimate for good measure.